An unsettling reality

The idea to create a ‘girl’s group’ came to us during the first month of living in the village. In addition to the regular health classes to be taught at the primary school, we felt that the older girls needed to be taught separately, on topics pertaining to women’s health. After many conversations with the head nurse and pastor’s wife about the current ‘situation’ in Usolonga, it became clear that we should focus the class on HIV/AIDS prevention and self-awareness. The ‘situation’ is both sad and unsettling. Here are just a few of the unpleasant realities girls are faced with each day.

One of the most distressing things we learned while preparing for this girl’s class was when we were discussing the age range we should target. Given that there are only two of us, with our limited Swahili, we felt that a class of 25-30 girls from standard six and seven would be manageable (the idea was to target those who were ‘mature’ i.e. child bearing age). We thought that the 12-15 age range was appropriate; we’d hopefully ‘catch’ them before they became sexually active. You can imagine the shock we had when, upon sharing this with the nurse, we were informed that if we wished to reach them before they became sexually active, we’d have to start in standard 3 and 4! A high percentage of girls start (not always by choice) to be sexually active at the age of 10! These are small children! It’s not as though ten-year olds are ‘overly mature’ in the village –rather it’s quite the opposite! The average ten-year old here wouldn’t pass for being any older than seven in a developed country. Of course we had to ask: why?

Another harsh reality; this is what happens. When a girl reaches a certain age and is deemed ‘old enough’ (by her mother) to provide for herself (basic necessities like soap, oil, shoes, clothes, etc) she is financially ‘cut off’ from her family to buy such things, (even though she still lives and eats at home!) Some mother’s think that at the age of ten, they are old enough. Apparently this also happens to the boys, although, in a culture where men are treated like kings and are in charge of all the money, they usually have the means to buy these things for themselves. As a result, if a girl sleeps with a boy, he will usually give her a bit of money so that she can take care of herself! Of course we asked “why can’t the girls work and get money”? We were told that it was ‘complicated’. No doubt it is. The men control everything. It is not unusual for the mother to be left at home, alone to take care of the children, while the husband is out either a)working in the shamba b)drinking with his friends c)visiting his other wife and children or sadly, d) sleeping around. On one of her recent home visits, Jen asked the mother how things were with her husband (i.e. was he providing for his family). The response was a shrug of the shoulders; things weren’t great, but what else did she expect. She hadn’t seen her husband in two weeks; he was supposed to have brought her some money so she could buy cooking oil and a few vegetables. All they had to eat in the house was half a sack of ugali flour. She has tried to grow a small garden beside her house, but nothing is able to grow due to the near drought weather we’ve been having. The issue is large and complex, I’m not even going to pretend that I understand the half of it!

The village’s overall attitude towards this promiscuous behavior does not help the situation. Although if asked, some would say that it is wrong, most would just say that it’s the way things have always been. There’s no ‘taboo’ (as found in other villages) against pre-/inter- marital sex. Men can essentially have sex with whoever they want; women aren’t necessarily given a choice (the majority of them do not even realize that they should be). This has been one of the hardest realities to swallow. This past Sunday, a little girl (who had just turned ten, but I thought was seven) was brought to the clinic to be checked out. She had been rapped the previous day by two teenagers while her mother was out working in the shamba. Her father died last year, so at the age of ten she is left alone with her four year old sister while her mother is forced to work in the fields. Her screams were heard by a neighbor, who thankfully reacted right away and ran to the scene (we were told that this no doubt happens all the time, only no one pays any attention…) The little girl, named Ana, later told the nurse that this was the second time that it’s happened. The most frustrating thing is that they know who these boys are! NOTHING is being done!! The boys just offered to pay for any of the medical costs! (I have to admit that my first thought was to visit these boys and beat them up! I’m told that one of them is still in primary school –most likely one of my students…I didn’t ask his name, for fear that I actually might do it!) This is only a small example of the deep rooted, complex issue, and I realize that a few black eyes are not the best way to go about solving the problem (although there needs to be some sort of disciplinary action from the villagers!)

Needless to say, there are many issues that we’ve become aware of and are trying to address as we start this girl’s club. We realize that the task is huge, much bigger than we can tackle. However, having become aware, we can not just ignore the issue and stand on the side lines doing nothing. We’ve held four classes so far, and have had very positive feedback from the girls. A few details are different then what we had “planned for”, for example, there are currently 90 girls enrolled in the class (slightly more than the 25-30 we were expecting) and although we are doing HIV/AIDS prevention as well as covering other health topics, we have based the course loosely on the “why wait” curriculum that has been developed and is used in other African countries. The Biblically based curriculum deals with the root issues (i.e. promiscuous life style, low self worth, cultural norms, etc.) Despite the large group, we are trying our best to learn everyone’s name (name tags have come in handy!) and are getting to know a lot of them as they come by our house often to visit! Class normally begins with a twenty minute lesson, followed by a short English lesson (everyone wants to learn so that they can go to Secondary school; which is only taught in English!) Then we either sing (we’ve been teaching them some English songs and they’ve been teaching us some in Swahili) or go outside and play a wide game.

We are currently in the process of recruiting some local women (ones who would be good role models –we’re told that there are a few!) to come on board and help out. This way the class can keep going between the time gap from when we leave and the new interns arrive. The goal is to eventually have something that is locally run…but we are just in the beginning stages! Although it’s been an uphill battle, the effort is well worth it.